So, I did well with the computer thing.  But I realized that I use the computer predominantly to soak up time that would otherwise be spent focusing on the fact that I’m alone.  Read: I’m a little lonely.  No job, no church, no friends.  It just hasn’t happened yet.  So, I’m alone and to keep myself from thinking about that fact, I look around at useless, mind-numbing things online. 

I listened to a sermon by John Piper while I was working out today and he mentioned that sometimes when we’re down in the dumps, we spend too much time listening to ourselves instead of talking to ourselves.  It’s easy to have a pity party and to convince yourself that things are much worse than they really are.  And the more time you spend alone ruminating about the forlorn state of your life, the greater risk you run of believing that things are hopeless and that God has abandoned you.  However, you must cut off the incessant negative monologue that is coming directly from Satan and replace it with the powerful truth of the Word of the Living God, however little you may feel it.  You don’t have to feel it.  Feelings are fleeting.  Focus on truth.  Piper took as his example Psalm 42.  Here is an excerpt to get the point across:

Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him
For the help of His presence.
O my God, my soul is in despair within me;
Therefore I remember You…
Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls;
All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.
The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime;
And His song will be with me in the night;
I will say to God my rock, “Why have You forgotten me?” …
Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance, and my God.

There are some very important points in this.  First, it’s obvious this guy is way depressed.  (He’s actually in exile and his enemies are taunting him all day long, asking, “Where is your God now?”)  Second, although he recognizes that his most inward being is completely despairing, he reminds himself of the truth: that God is sovereign and that we are to praise Him.  (He shows that he knows God is sovereign in the fact that he acknowledges God as the source of the storms in life.)  In the end, he still feels alone and forgotten.  But, he recognizes the error of his feelings and repeats truth to his soul.  He commands himself to praise God even though he’s just not feelin’ it. 

It’s not a magical formula to ensure bliss, but it is certainly a step in the right direction.  If you’re filling your mind with the truth, there’s no room for falsehood to flourish.  (As my 8th grade choir director told me, “Positive breeds positive.”) 

Bottom line:  I need to stop wasting my day doing useless things.  I need to actively seek out potential friends.  And in the meantime, I apparently need to be talking to myself quite a lot.